Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
