96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Well I just put wine in my tea
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
