I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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