If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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