I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
