I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
