so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize