hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize