i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
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