Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
