But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
no, he came in my armpit
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
ttyl tear gas
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
