Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
In other news, I just burned my penis
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
