Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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