no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
