dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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