I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Green mimosas i think yes
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
