Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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