I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
