can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize