My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Randomize
