Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
