I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
