Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
