is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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