he was CRYING into my vagina
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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