does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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