life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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