You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
