literally had 100 drinks last night.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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