I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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