so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
even my farts smell like vagina
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
