It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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