Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
