I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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