i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
