Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
