We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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