Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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