I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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