hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
