great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Randomize
