I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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