So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
