nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
