i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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