All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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