also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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