just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Let the clothes fall where they may.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
