Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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