The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
