It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
