someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
