can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
