Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.

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(303): View more from Colorado

You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.

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(773): View more from Illinois

She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs

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(213): View more from California

Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER

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(217): View more from Illinois

He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..

(1-217): View more from Illinois

YOU would be the Freshman Expirence

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(443): View more from Maryland

There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...

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