The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
