im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize