He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
