How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
