i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Randomize
