Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
