It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
