Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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