mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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