it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
