On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Found your dick twin last night
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
