We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
