Need sex. Gaining weight.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
This is my gift to your gina
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
