fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
