Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize