For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
