Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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