i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
