It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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