My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize