eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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