my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
