I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
