the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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